#1 request from my readers (write something about my personal experienced)

      Let go back to the recent thing that just happen to me... This is the story that about my first true love relationship..... Actually this is the topic I do not wish to talk the most...

     Let go straight to the broken stage of this relationship..... Yup, broken stage, she broke up with me because I am not a good boy for her.... The most berserk stage is on the first week, my mind was crazy...... I even not sure whether what am I thinking that week, my mind full of question marks..... How do I pass through all those day?? My answer is Sleep+sleep+sleep.... I will sleep and sleep and sleep... I had no choice because this is the only way to let me not to think anything..... But it is not a easy thing to avoid.... Do you know? When you love a person... the person will be everywhere, any time... even in your dreams...... I dream she came back to me.... I dreamed she left me and I shout her name.... That was crazy weeks....I also dont know how to describe that week because it was the most horrible week i ever have..... I dont know who to talk to, I dont know what to do... At the end, I cried badly and I messaged with my mom..... My mom was surprised because I never talk to her about my personal life before. Before this, I will try to be tough even when I met challenges or any hardships because I dont wish my parents will worry about me. I prefer to act as a rebel child in front my parents because i do not know how to show my caring to the person i care.

    I remember my parents bring me to Cameron Highland that following week. My parents do not know what happen but they know something happen on me because I am silent for the whole trip, I eat a little.... I cant smile or laught, i dont talk....... Before this, I will at least wear a MASK in front of my parents even if i am sad but I dont know why I cant even wear a fucking mask on my face that following weeks, i guess is month.... I cried alot of times in the toilet while i bath because i dont want my parents know about it.... Is weird, because i felt she is around when I went to Cameron highland because I remembered before 2~1 weeks she broke up with me, she went to Cameron Highland too..... Hahaha, actually I though all this illusion will only happen in drama but now i understand the feeling..... My parents know I am acting tough and they sent message to comfort me too which caused me cried again.... I feel guilty, really guilty because I make them worried. 

   After that weeks, I forced myself to do things, try to make myself busy in order to not to think about her, but it does not work, I will remember every single thing about her no matter what I do, when I eat, when i watch television, when I do assignment, I will also remember her if i saw any little that can related to me and her..... really little thing..... haiz.... A lot of my friends asked me what happen on me because they read through my face, i dont know why... Maybe the main reason is because i never have a unhappy face in front of them before, i tried to smile at them talk as usual but they told me i am different.Until now, at least i can wear a mask on my face already......

   From the day she broke up with me, I met alot of things, but I choose to be silent in order to avoid misunderstanding. Some people scold me, some people hate me, some people look down me, some people fuck me, some people comfort me , some people guess the story themself because I didt tell them anything when they asked, but I will tell all of you now, the reason is because I not good enough..... 

   My friends asked me to leave the world.... Yes I can leave, but i am not willing to...... I am not acting as a hero or infatuation but there are some reasons you guys will never what  a Love is. The reason I highlight the a is because one of the reader told me that i should not use a infront of love. BUt, why I use? because A love mean 1 love..... Love=1 likes=infinity as i mentioned before.... If you truly love a person, it will inside your heart forever, if you take he/she as an enemy after u break up, it is not love..... I do not hate her, I wish i can protect her from far..... just because a simple term... I love her.....

Guys..... Appreciate your partner~ I wish you guys have a good relationship^^
(Please dont ask me further question about this) Thanks.... I will not talk about this anymore



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